View Full Version : The 1stSgt's Office
George.. With your hearing.. if the 1stSgt hollered.. you would not hear him anyway...
:detective
He'll just have to send one of those pogues over to your office and hit you with a 2 x 4.....:beerchug: :checkS:
Don Smith
03-03-2004, 18:01
Originally posted by Lt.Bucklite
Morning Top,
Great idea there for the Officer/Staff club .
The only thing I want to add is you have to beware of our E club manager an E4 named Cplperkip (Phil) he guards the club like it is his own and will resent the intrusion of another club.
Why he has even accused me of bringing in bootleg booze from time to time!
Perhaps a complete audit of the eclub books is in order, and it might explain all the golfing trips this E4 seems to be able to afford.:detective
Thanks for the tip , Lt. I was informed that the eclub books had an accidnet and caught on fire. I sent a report to CID and expect a report in a few days.
The last bosses night when i wa in the club it appeared the booze was watered down. Maybe that's how the club manager can afford to play golf every day.
Gotta go see the Co.......he's right across the hall........I hope he hasn't heard all the bullshit and gunsmoke that been commin out of my office.
I was kind of wondering.. I never knew the bar keep to keep a set of books before. Eveyone always put the money in the fish bowl... then the bar keep would just come in the next morning and put it in his pocket.. I asked him one time what he then did with the money and he said it was deposited. But never said how or where deposited.
I also know he has 2 budgets.. one official.. and one secret that is supplied by the CO's private slush fund. Would that mean that if he kept books.. he kept 2 sets.. If so, there may be copies somewhere.. like in the CO's Office. I hope I am not saying too much...
Chuck loose lips sink ships.. you may have sunk the Enterprize...
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H
That's OK George.. if you go back at look at your last budget approved by regiment... it did have a slush fund approval to be operated and regulated by you as the C.O. Now I can't say if the E-Club became involved.. but I was just thinking about that fish bowl... That's all..
1stSgt
Reporting in as ordered by 1stLt Bucklite. But I don't need any shots. I had my full slate of shots back in bootcamp. I have my shot card around here somewhere.
Where do I bunk? I can square away my personals then give me a typewriter and I will fill out a shot card. I have a few C.O. rubber signature stamps to properly take care of the official part.
Look at page 8 of my SRB you will find all the records right there and rubber stamped by my last C.O.
Lowe. E.T.
03-04-2004, 04:57
Originally posted by Dogface
1stSgt
Reporting in as ordered by 1stLt Bucklite. But I don't need any shots. I had my full slate of shots back in bootcamp. I have my shot card around here somewhere.
Where do I bunk? I can square away my personals then give me a typewriter and I will fill out a shot card. I have a few C.O. rubber signature stamps to properly take care of the official part.
Look at page 8 of my SRB you will find all the records right there and rubber stamped by my last C.O.
********************
Welcome aboard Dogface ~~ Another Hollywood Marine, huh? Are you one of those Marines who got married on the steps of San Francisco's city hall? -- My, my, my - weren't they just having a gay old time..... smile.
We don't use typewriters any more -- we been computerized.
There's a bunch of other Hollywood Marines and I'm sure they will show you where to bunk.
Remember -- only one to a bunk. -- Bwahahahahaha
Don Smith
03-04-2004, 14:59
Originally posted by EGL
Top just standing outside the door ... I had one of the pogues put a note on your desk... actualy I had him put on your chair... that way I know you can't miss it .. to let you know that my office is right across the hall... you need anything just hollar...
Sir,
Thanks for letting me know where your office is located. I did receive the note affixed to my chair, but why the hell did that Marine affix it with a Tack. I set my tired on butt right on the tack!.
From time to time you might hear some launage and noise you might not to be witness to. In this case Sir, I recommend you put your CD on with the Marine corp Hymn and play it real loud.
Can you give me a staus report of the funding for the consoildated Officer/ Staff Club ? Were going to need a name for this club. Suggest an ALMAR go out request a name. Whoever suggest a name and its selected should get a 96. Please advise.
R/S
1stSgt Smith of Marines
Don Smith
03-04-2004, 15:21
Originally posted by Dogface
1stSgt
Reporting in as ordered by 1stLt Bucklite. But I don't need any shots. I had my full slate of shots back in bootcamp. I have my shot card around here somewhere.
Where do I bunk? I can square away my personals then give me a typewriter and I will fill out a shot card. I have a few C.O. rubber signature stamps to properly take care of the official part.
Look at page 8 of my SRB you will find all the records right there and rubber stamped by my last C.O.
Welcome aboard Marine !
First of all , I really don't care if you have all your shots as long as you had the one for distemper. and done put the bite on anyone while your in my command. Your last !stsgt told me about you. Said when you drank booze at teh NCO Club you would go outside and howl at the moon..........is that where you picked up your handle ? Or did you get it from the way your face looks .......you know like a English Pug. Anyway.......don't snoop and poop around our eclub some of the WM's might not understand. As you know the old 1Stsgt here is the Master of unskilled labor and has beenassigning details to the brig rats in order for them to pay their worth. We don't want any of them on the dole.
You rate a bottom bunk, I'll have the Vet for k9 Corp cpme over and check you out in the morning.....I don't want to gbe getting a call from the Staff duty NCO tonight telling me your barking at the moon with funny brown stuff comming out of your mouth.......control yourselp until the Vet sees you once he gives you the needle with the square tip.........you'll feel better.......believe me you'll know better to.........Do you know why !stSgt's wear diamonds on their chevrons ? Because diamonds are forever............Just think about that when you just might want to give a little bark at the moon tonight.
Don Smith
03-04-2004, 15:42
Originally posted by cplperkip
Don't worry about the course top, as soon as the weather clears up well get some of the brig rats to clean things up. It will be ready for the spring tournament.
The golf course problem was taken care of by the Brig Rats and a few combat Engineers with earth movers.
Now for the big problem.It's my understanding that the club books were burned up and we believe someone contracted with a Pyro to do the job.........and we them we know who did it.
Better close the club early tonight as I want you in my office at 0600 with your heels locked at a 45 degree angle. After I read you your writes you can tell me what happen to the other set of books. If the old man has them, you might not have a problem. In any case CID will need to secure them for audit.
When reporting to my office you will see a RED BLOCK on the bulkhead. Knock 3 times , if I say center that wha tyou do center on the hatch. Don't come in until I tell you do to so and make sur eyour boots are clean. You know the funds to go to the Navy Relief were to come out of the profits of the eclub but without the books how are we going to determine how much their suppose to get. THAT A BIG MORAL FACTOR.....and as you know 1StSgt's are all over the Moral of the Company.........so in the moring you'll nee to be accountable.
Originally posted by Don Smith
Sir,
Thanks for letting me know where your office is located. I did receive the note affixed to my chair, but why the hell did that Marine affix it with a Tack. I set my tired on butt right on the tack!.
From time to time you might hear some launage and noise you might not to be witness to. In this case Sir, I recommend you put your CD on with the Marine corp Hymn and play it real loud.
Can you give me a staus report of the funding for the consoildated Officer/ Staff Club ? Were going to need a name for this club. Suggest an ALMAR go out request a name. Whoever suggest a name and its selected should get a 96. Please advise.
R/S
1stSgt Smith of Marines
Top I leave the name of the club in your capable hands... Lt. Scuba is working on the budget... and should have it completed soon.. He is a good man... Former S/Sgt...
We will find that youngster who put the note on your chair with a tac..and crusify him...
Being a Mustang I see and hear nothing... keep my CD loud and true...
cplperkip
03-04-2004, 17:45
Cpl Perkip reporting as ordered to the 1stSgt,s office.
Now Top that fire was a sure enough accident, You just ask old Obie the Firebug, I mean the Fireman! He came and investigated it himself. And he assures me that not a court in this land can prove it was anything else. (way to go Obie ). I do remember that the CO had a set of books at one time, but being from Montana, and as cold as it gets up there at times, he may have used them to start one of his many fires to thaw out the gas pipes at his shop. (truth be told the oldman takes a nip every now and then, more now than then, if you know what I mean Top. )
As for the Navy Relief fund. We sent a sizable donation there last week. Doc took it over himself
I do believe that this will clarify the unfortunate accident. I do hope to have you at the club sometime, You will be welcome and drinks are on the house. We also have a bevy of beautiful ladies that are at your beckoning call.
Hey first shirt whatever story Phil tells you is the truth and that is my story and i am sticking to it. I think it was spontanous combustion yea.... thats it that is what it was. and a real shame after Phil cooked..er..I mean worked so hard to get the books just right too! { how was that Phil?}
Marines I'm new here and I don't know where I will end up. But I like having a few drinks at a good e-club.
As you can see I am administrative and maybe I can help you with a new set of books. Maybe not fixed up as good as your last set but really good.
All it would take is say - free drinks for life. I also know how to make rubber stamps. What is your CO's name? Is that the same Major I have to report to? I can have a stamp made up with his signature in a hour. Just as soon as my assignment chit is signed.
old crunchie
03-04-2004, 18:49
Originally posted by Obie
Hey first shirt whatever story Phil tells you is the truth and that is my story and i am sticking to it. I think it was spontanous combustion yea.... thats it that is what it was. and a real shame after Phil cooked..er..I mean worked so hard to get the books just right too! { how was that Phil?}
Obie I am still a certified polygraphist and member of the Academy Of Certified Polygraphists (ACP)
I would be glad to give you a polygraph examination if you need one
cplperkip
03-04-2004, 19:25
Doing fine Obie. Just keep it up. I learned working in motor T, that a good line of BS always worked when the truth was a little fuzzy. God I should be a politician!!!!!!!
The trip is still on, Should be no problem with the finances.(you know what I mean )
cplperkip
03-04-2004, 19:27
Oh yea we can work something out, just come by the back room at the club. We will talk.
cplperkip
03-04-2004, 19:35
Originally posted by old crunchie
Obie I am still a certified polygraphist and member of the Academy Of Certified Polygraphists (ACP)
I would be glad to give you a polygraph examination if you need one
Obie
You may need to take some matches over to the Crunichers home and check out his polygraph machine (know what I mean vern )
God dang
Thanks for the bottle. 2 in one day and all for just me. I knew that full moon tomorrow night was going to be there for a reason.
Obie what kind of matches are you using? I have one of them there butane lighters that lights every time. Even when it is windy. You can also turn the flame up and down depending on what it is needed for.
I know it may or may not be a waste but did you ever see a good bottle of CC burn? Its almost as good as lighter fluid.
Top
I think we have solved the tack problem ..and at the same time I think we should have a talk with Sgt. Dogface.... He seems a little saulty to me.... I have herd some reports from the Company Gunny... that I think you and I should tlk about....So what do you say to us having a discussion behind closed doors and tan if need be have a discussion with Sgt. Dogface?
Hey Crumchie I do not care how many times you can get married being a polygamist. I have a brother in law that is president of lie detector dudes so he may be calling you to turn in your card and make you forget your secret handshake.
old crunchie
03-05-2004, 07:23
Originally posted by Obie
Hey Crumchie I do not care how many times you can get married being a polygamist. I have a brother in law that is president of lie detector dudes so he may be calling you to turn in your card and make you forget your secret handshake.
See if he want's to buy my polygraph instruments??
Originally posted by old crunchie
See if he want's to buy my polygraph instruments??
How much .. it would be worth it to me to use on Lawyers and politicians to see who is honest
Don Smith
03-05-2004, 09:27
Originally posted by EGL
Top
I think we have solved the tack problem ..and at the same time I think we should have a talk with Sgt. Dogface.... He seems a little saulty to me.... I have herd some reports from the Company Gunny... that I think you and I should tlk about....So what do you say to us having a discussion behind closed doors and tan if need be have a discussion with Sgt. Dogface?
Sir,
Good afternoon, nice office, you have some interesting Marine Corp items hanging from your walls. Dam looks like the Marine Corp Museum at PI........in fact I was there a couple years ago and saw many of these item in the Museum............I know you were at PI for a graduation..........did you visit the museum ???? Never mind, Sir, that 's not important.
I guess the Company Gunny needed to speak with you when I was on liberty last night checking out the problems at the USO in the town.
Sir you say we have a problem with Sgt Dogface ? Now I gave him a few orders on how to act in the eclub and explained we would not condem barking at the moon...........did he cause some problems in the club or is there another issue i need to be made awear of? Tried to got to see the Gunny this morning but the Admin Chief, Sgt I.M. Typer said he had to go to the Rifle Range.
It appears 2nd Lt Loverboy has got into some trouble and the gunny is covering for me out there.
So what's the issue with Sgt. Dogface, Sir ?
old crunchie
03-05-2004, 10:47
Originally posted by EGL
How much .. it would be worth it to me to use on Lawyers and politicians to see who is honest
It takes a lot of instruction to properly use one
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